I Am Thinking About It
by gnrkrystle
Summary: Lit. Dont know how long this will be, just came to me. Takes place from the end of Swan Song and onward.
1. Thinking

Title: I Am Thinking About It

Pairing: Literati

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Short (only a few parts) story about how things could have gone after Swan Song.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.

A/N: This was just kind of bouncing around in my head as I watched Swan Song today…hope you like it…R&R!

Chapter One: I Am Thinking About It

"Keep thinking what you're thinking," Rory said, looking up into Jess's eyes.

He smirked at her and her knees went weak. He always did that to her. "I don't have a choice," he quipped and her heart soared at the implication.

He kissed her one more time before she picked up her bags and made her way home. Her brain was racing and she shook her head one she was out of sight. Jess's kisses always made her head spin, but her conversation with her mother earlier only gave her one more thing to think about.

With Dean, the sex thing had been easy. She really had never felt the desire to have sex with Dean. The kissing was good, as long as they were seated and she didn't have to crane her neck, but other than that she never felt the desire to progress. The one and only time they had made it to second base, she basically felt like it was an obligation.

With Jess, on the other hand, the first time he touched her like that, she was panting and moaning like a dog in heat. They hadn't progressed passed that, but she had to admit that she had been thinking about it. She told her mother that she wasn't because she knew Lorelai was not on board with this relationship not matter how many times she tried to say she was.

On the other hand, she did need her mother's perspective. Plus, she felt bad for lying to her about the sex thing. It was just hard to admit to her mother that she wanted to have sex…with the town hoodlum.

Before she knew it she was home and she walked into the house with a sigh. "MY FOOD!" Lorelai said, sitting up on the couch. Rory laughed and handed her the take out. "You are an angel." Lorelai said, dramatically.

She stood there and watched her mother dig through Al's food. She was talking about something, but Rory wasn't listening. She was playing with the sleeve of her shirt, trying to think of the best way to bring the subject of sex with Jess up. "What's wrong?" her mother asked, noticing that Rory seemed preoccupied.

"Nothing," Rory said, quickly. "Nothing's wrong."

"O…k…" her mother said, digging into her food.

"It's just…" Rory started, sitting on the edge of the couch. "Do you remember what we talked about yesterday?"

"Ummm," Her mother said, looking at her funny. "Well…we talked about a lot." Her mother said, confused.

Rory sighed. She wasn't going to make this easy, was she? "About me thinking about having sex." She clarified.

"Oh," her mother said, putting down her fork.

"Yeah, well I said I hadn't been thinking about, and I guess that was because I didn't want to admit it. But I am. Thinking about it." She clarified.

Her mother watched her fidget and sputter out her confession, and she had to admit she wasn't really happy about what she heard. Jess wasn't right for Rory. Jess was like Chris, and she knew exactly what guys like that do in the end. But her daughter was so nervous. "Well, I guess we are talking about this now," she said.

"I know, I should have told you," Rory said.

"Wait, you aren't…" Lorelai said, feeling her heart stop in her chest.

'No!" Rory exclaimed quickly. "Not yet, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking about it." She said, looking at her mom for some sort of response, verbal or otherwise.

"Wow," Lorelai said, looking down at her feet before looking back at Rory. "So…" she didn't have words. She wanted Rory to talk to her about this. She grew up in an environment that didn't allow her to talk about anything, She promised herself, and Rory, that she would never do that to her.

But she hated Jess. He wasn't good enough for Rory, and she knew her daughter was just going through a bad boy phase. But could she really stop them if they wanted to do it? She knew from experience that two teenagers that wanted to have sex, were going to have sex. "Well, can you promise me something?" Lorelai asked.

"Tell me before you do it." She said, trying to make the look on her face accepting.

"Right before or…" Rory asked.

"Ummm just before will be fine," her mother said, praying for this conversation to be over.

"Ok," Rory said before starting to eat her own food. They sat there in silence for the rest of the night until Rory said she was tired and went to bed. When she couldn't sleep she pulled out her phone and dialed Jess.

"Hello?" he answered, not paying attention to the caller ID.

"Hey, it's me." Rory said.

"Hey," he said, smiling.

"Still thinking what you were thinking?" she asked, almost giggling at herself. God, he made her such a girl, and if it weren't for the fact that she was pretty sure she was falling in love with him she would probably be complete mortified.

Jess chuckled lightly into the phone and said, "Well yeah, what about you?" he asked.

"Well, it never was established what I was thinking in the first place," she quipped.

"We didn't establish what I was thinking about either." Jess returned with a smile.

"No," Rory said before turning a shade of red, "But I did feel it." She couldn't believe she just said that, but she also knew that Jess was one of the only people who she didn't have to be guarded around. Her mother was the other, but she had a feeling that that would be changing if she and Jess took things to the next level.

Jess almost choked. "Ummm…" he said, "Well, you know I can't help it." He said, feeling like a dork. How did she manage to make him tongue tied like that?

Rory smiled to herself. "Anyway, I was thinking the same thing," she said cryptically. "So, I'll see you tomorrow," she said. "Night." Then she hung up before Jess could even respond.

She couldn't believe she just said that. She wasn't even sure yet. She was just thinking about sex with Jess, yet she found herself basically telling him she was ready. She sighed and snuggled under the covers.

TBC…


	2. Stupid Boys

Chapter 2

"God Dammit, Jess!" Rory muttered on her way to the hockey game. She didn't understand him. One minute he was the sweetest, sexiest, most perfect (or as perfect as she could expect) boyfriend on the planet, the next he was distant and standing her up two nights in a row.

Now, because he had left her alone, again, without a call she was going to spend her night watching a sport…live. This did not sound fun. On the other hand, her mother was right. Sitting at home waiting for Jess to get his head out of his ass was not something she was willing to let herself do.

She basically told him that she wanted to have sex with him a week ago, and now he seemed to be gone all the time. She didn't believe it was because he didn't want to have sex with her, but she really didn't know what the problem was. Usually boys are supposed to be intrigued when their girlfriends express intrest in sex. Jess didn't seem to care.

Not that she would know since in the last week, she had spent only a few minutes with him before school when they ate breakfast. He seemed okay then, but why didn't he call? Why didn't he come over to hang out with her? She knew he should have been off work by now.

But she decided she was going to forget about him for tonight and hang out with Lane. She hadn't been able to spend a lot of time with her lately because of school, Jess, and Lane's band, anyway.

Jess knocked on the Gilmores' door and was surprised to see Lorelai. "Rory here?" he asked. He didn't like Lorelai, and she didn't like him right back. It was a mutual hate.

"Are you kidding me?" Lorelai asked.

"Is that a no?" Jess sighed, in no mood to deal with Lorelai's sarcasm and condescension.

"No," Lorelai said, "She went to the hockey game."

"Look, if you don't want to tell me where she is, I'll find her myself." Jess said, turning to leave. He'd just spent 12 hours hauling crap at work and he really didn't have time for this.

"I'm serious, Jess. Had you bothered to call her, she would been here." Lorelai muttered under her breath.

Jess scowled. "Rory knows that I don't follow a schedule." He said.

"Yeah, well, she can't sit around waiting for you all night either," Lorelai said before shutting the door.

Jess kicked the dirt at his feet and pulled his car keys out of his pocket. He headed over to the school to see if she was still there.

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Rory didn't have a completely awful time at the game, but all attempts to forget about Jess were futile. She had fun, but she would have had more fun with Jess. She didn't deserve this.

She waved goodbye to Lane and eyed the payphone next to the concession stand. She bit her lip, debating, and finally made her way to it. She dialed his number and waited for the beep. She ranted into the phone. She didn't even know what she was saying for most of the message but she was mad, and dammit, she wasn't going to just let it go this time. Jess had to realize that she was not some doormate.

"Oh, by the way, this message is for Jess." She said, before hanging up the phone. She felt a little better now. She still wished she could see Jess, but at least she got the silent rant that was going on in her head out in the open.

To her surprise, Jess was standing outside the gym when she exited. "What are…" she started as he leaned against his car. God, he was sexy. As mad as she was supposed to be at him, she couldn't deny that he got her all wound up just at the sight of him.

"I stopped by your house. You're mom said you were here." Jess said, pulling one hand out of his leather jacket pocket. "Here." He said, handing her some earplugs.

"What are these for?" she asked, moving closer to him and taking them from his hand.

"I got Distiller's tickets." He said, with a shrug. "I'd have been here sooner, but I had to wait in line." He explained.

Rory couldn't help the small smile that crept over her features. Sure, he could have and should have called, but he was tied up doing something for her. That said something for him. "We better go," he said.

She nodded and got into his car. 'Hey, Jess." She said, looking at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Could you erase your messages before listening to them?' she asked.

"Ummm, yeah." He said, confused.

"And one more thing." Rory said.

'What?"

"If you are going to do something sweet like this again, can you please just call and tell me that you are going to be late so I don't spend the whole night hating you?" She said.

He looked up at her and started the car. He smirked and said, "Yes master." She punched him lightly on the arm and they made their way out of the parking lot. She wasn't really giving him a 'get-out-of-jail-free' card, but she did know it was hard for him to remember things like common courtesy sometimes. No one ever taught him these things, and he was a stubborn boy anyway.

The concert was awesome. Jess stood behind her in the crowd of people, his arms wrapped around her waist, his head against hers as they swayed slightly to the music. Rory felt relaxed again. This was how it was supposed to be. Together they made sense, to her if no one else, and apart neither of them really fit anywhere.

She pulled him tighter against her and he gladly squeezed his hold on her, kissing the side of her neck. He bit an earlobe and shivers ran down her spin. "Jess," she breathed, but he couldn't hear her over the loud music. She turned around in his arms and leaned into his ear. "Jess," she said again, "Do you want to get out of here?"

She knew he'd spent a lot of money on the tickets, but the show was almost over and she wasn't going to have a lot of time with him after the show if they stayed. Her mother would be home from her date soon after. Jess nodded and took her hand in his, leading her out of the concert hall. "What do you want to do?" he asked, looking at her awkwardly when they could finally hear each other.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" she asked.

"Yeah, common," he said, pulling her toward the car. He started the engine and drove them all the way back to Star's Hollow, to the bridge they spent a great deal of time at. They got out and walked hand in hand to their usual spot and sat down on the bridge.

"So…" Jess said, "did you like the concert?"

"I loved it," Rory said, snuggling into his lap. He made lazy circles on her thigh with his index finger. They were silent for a while before Rory said, "You havn't been avoiding me because of what I told you last week are you?" she asked, nervously.

"No," Jess said, immedietly. It was unusual for him to directly answer a question. "I'm not avoiding you," he said, though his voice was not agitated like it normally would have been when asked this question.

"I've been really busy." He said. "And when I'm free, you are busy. This week has just been bad for us." He said.

"Ok," Rory said. "I just wanted to make sure. So you still…" she started feeling stupid.

Jess chuckled. "Do is still want to have sex with you?" he asked, and she looked up at him. "Does a bear shit in the woods?" he asked. Rory laughed at him and relaxed a little bit. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

"I want it too," Rory said, looking up at him quickly. "But you have to understand that I want it to be right, you know. Perfect." She said. She knew she sounded like a little girl, but you only get to lose your virginity once.

"Ok," Jess said. "I get that."

"Ok," Rory said, leaning up to kiss him. "Thank you for the concert." She said.

"Thank you for not pushing me." Jess said, knowing that she knew exactly what he meant.

"Hey, where's the fun in a boyfriend that makes everything easy?" she chuckled. Jess rolled his eyes before attacking her lips.

Rory moaned against him and clutched his back for something stable to hold onto. Slowly he pushed her back against the worn wood of the bridge and settled comfortably between her legs for comfort. "Jess…" Rory moaned against his lips as she felt him hard against her. No matter how many times she felt it, it still amazed her that she could do this to him. He had the same effect on her, but she wasn't sure he knew that. It wasn't as obvious that her panties were soaked as it was that he had a full blown hard on.

"Mmmm," Jess grunted as Rory bucked against him slightly, "You are going to kill me," he moaned, moving his forhead to her shoulder, trying to hold on to his last shreds of sanity.

"You just feel so good," she panted, not caring anymore that she sounded stupid. Jess wouldn't judge her. He never did. That was one thing she could say with full confidence. Jess would never judge her.

He grinned at her. "Really?" he said, quirking an eyebrow at her. "You get pleasure from my pain?" he asked.

She smirked back at him. "You aren't the only one in pain." She said, her voice husky with lust. "Here, let me show you," she said, before she could talk herself out of it.

She reached between them, snapping the button of her jeans open and pulling down the zipper.

Jess's eyes went wide, "Rory? What…" he started, but she just took his hand in hers and guided it down her pants and into her underwear. His breath hitched as he felt how wet she was. He looked her in they eye, his breath coming out in pants as if to ask a silent question.

"I'm not ready for sex, just yet but maybe…" Rory said, but before she could finish her sentence, his lips clamped down on hers in a forceful kiss.

Jess's head was reeling. He moved his fingers along her slick folds, finding her clit and lightly rubbing it. "Oh God!" Rory moaned. "That's…that's good." She said, her eyes screwed shut. She clung to Jess for dear life as he continued to rub her, a little harder with each passing second.

"You like that?" he breathed, into her ear. She nodded and moaned her response. God she was fucking hot. He didn't know what he did to deserve a girl like Rory, but he wasn't going to question it.

"Oh my god, Jess…" she moaned a little louder. She could barely breathe. It was like she was suffocating…in a good way. She moved her hands up the back of his shirt, letting her fingers digging into the skin of his back.

Jess began dry humping her in hopes of relieving the tension in his cock. He was so hard it was starting to become painful, but he didn't want to stop touching Rory until she came. God, he couldn't wait to watch her come.

"Fuck!" Rory panted. And then her world went black. Her body tensed and she felt a kind of release she had never felt before. "Ohhhhh!" she moaned one last time as went stiff and came hard against Jess's hand.

He watched her the whole time. The way her lips pulled into a pout as she began to come, the rise and fall of her chest as she panted for breath, and the gleam of sweat that showed on her face as he brought her to orgasm. All of it was perfect and only made him seek release that much more.

Finally she opened her eyes, her body like a bowl of jelly, and Jess removed his hand from her. She smiled lazily at him and he smirked back at her. "So, that's what I've been missing?" she chuckled.

"You've never…" Jess asked in shock.

"Nope," she said. Jess's possessive instincts took over and he descended on her again, kissing the breath out of her. He had to admit, knowing he was the first person to make her come was intoxicating.

"Mmmm, I hate to do this," Rory said between kisses, "But we really have to go. My mom should be home soon."

Jess huffed and nodded, moving away from her. It took all of his will power not to push her back down on the ground and have his way with her. But she was right. Lorelai hated him already, and he couldn't give a shit what _she _though but Rory did, and he didn't need any more people telling her that she could do better than him. Even if he knew it to be true.

When they were standing, he tried to adjust himself into a comfortable position, but as hard as he was, he was sure he wasn't going to be comfortable until he could get home and jerk off in the shower. "Oh!" Rory said, looking at him in concern. "I can…if you want…" She couldn't even say it without blushing.

"No, I'm ok." He said with a smile. He'd rather wait until he could be inside her anyway. A hand-job just wasn't going to be enough for him, and he didn't want to crave her more than he already did.

Rory frowned, "Are you worried that I'll be bad at it?" she asked.

Jess laughed out loud. "Definitely not. I'm pretty sure if you touched me I would come immediately. I would just rather wait until you are ready, you know…" he said.

"Oh." Rory said with a nod. "Ok." She smiled and kissed him then followed him back to the car.

When she got home, she debated about telling her mother about Jess picking her up, the concert, and her first orgasm but when she saw her mother on the couch, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, she just said she had a fun time and she was going to bed.

That night, when she got into bed, she thought about what she and Jess did and smiled. That was amazing. If sex was better, she didn't know what she would do. She just hoped the perfect timing was sooner rather than later.


	3. Getting In

Chapter 3

"So did you find out about Harvard yet?" Jess asked, kissing Rory on the cheek a week or so later.

"No," Rory sighed, "It hadn't come. Of course, Kirk being our new mail carrier isn't helping," she laughed.

"Yeah, it took him 2 hours to get our mail sorted, and that was with Luke threatening death." Jess smirked.

"Nothin from Yale or Princeton either," Rory said.

"Is there even a chance you wouldn't go to Harvard if you got in?" Jess asked. Rory hadn't said anything to the contrary, so he just assumed Harvard what all she was worried about.

"I don't know," Rory said. "Actually, do you think we could talk about this later/" she asked looking at her watch.

"Yeah," Jess said. "Anytime."

"Do you work tonight?" Rory asked.

"Yeah, but I'll be back around 9:00." Jess replied.

"Ok," Rory said, "Just come on over when you get off." Jess nodded and kissed the corner of her mouth before moving to go to school. "OH!" Rory stopped him quickly.

"What?" he asked, laughing at her.

Rory debated weather now was the best time to ask him about Prom and finally decided, tonight would be better. That way she could have time to use her womanly ways to get what she wanted.

"Nevermind," she finally said. He smirked and left the diner, bypassing school and heading directly for his car.

After her left, she made her way to the bus and on to school for another day with Paris hating her and more schoolwork than she had time for. At least she was in the running for Valedictorian. She knew that it didn't matter weather she got it, in the grand scheme of things, but it still was pretty cool.

847329#47

When Rory got home after school she huffed and sat on the couch next to her mother. "What's wrong?" Lorelai asked.

"You know that important speech that I auditioned for?" Rory asked.

"The one that's going to be on C-SPAN?" her mother asked.

"Yeah, I got it." Rory said, not nearly as excited as her mother would have expected her to be.

"Well, that's great!" Lorelai said.

"Yeah, and Paris did too. Headmaster Charleston wants us to present together." She pouted.

"Oh," her mother said, nodding in understanding. "Well, at least you got it, and Paris is nothing if not professional." She reminded her.

"That's true." Rory said. "So, she's coming over tonight to work on it." Rory said. "I guess I better get some food for us to eat," she sighed before getting up. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Chinese!" her mother said excitedly. Rory nodded and pulled on her jacket, heading to Al's.

When she got home, her mother had left her a note on the kitchen table telling her that she had to go to Sookie's to help her with something. Probably the plans for the new Inn, if they got it. She told her to put her food in the fridge and she would eat it when she got home.

Paris knocked on the door at 5:00 sharp and Rory put on a smile and answered the door. "Ok, well I figure we should just start right in on this," Paris said, her determined face on, as she invited herself into the house, passed Rory and into Rory's room.

"Ok," Rory said, getting her bearings and following Paris. She handed her her own speech and Paris handed her, hers.

They began reading, but Rory could tell that something was on Paris's mind. She was about to ask what was wrong when Paris looked up at her and said, "I slept wit Jaime." That was not what Rory had expected.

"Ummm," she said, trying to get her words to work properly.

"And I don't know how to feel about it." Paris continued.

"Well, was it good?" Rory found herself asking.

"Well, yes, but that's not the point. I need to know if this was a good or bad decision I figured, if we talked about it, maybe held a mock debate, I could wrap my mind around it." Paris said.

Rory would have laughed if she didn't know that Paris was completely serious. "How did it happen?" Rory asked.

"We were alone at his house. He lit a fire. He told me he loved me and then it happened." Paris looked to Rory, hoping for some sort of approval or disapproval.

"Was he nice?" Rory asked.

"HE was very sweet." Paris said, getting a little impatient. She wanted to know if Rory thought it was good or bad. "I figure it was bound to happen at some point. You can only be with someone so long before you just naturally move on to sex, right?" she said.

"Well…" Rory started, but she couldn't finish her thought as Paris continued.

"I mean, that was what it was like with you and Dean, right?" Paris asked.

"Dean and I never…" Rory said, looking down.

"Oh," Paris said, seemingly very surprised.

"Well, Jess then." She said.

Rory just shook her head. "You're a virgin!" Paris almost screeched. Rory started to feel a little embarrassed.

"Yeha, Paris, I am." She said, a little bite in her voice.

"No, I didn't mena it like that." Paris said, trying to amend her statement. "I just mean, I figured that at least you and Jess would have had sex. If you havn't maybe I shouldn't have," she said looking at her hands.

"No," Rory said quickly. "It just hasn't been the right time for me." She explained. "People move at different speeds. If you love Jaime and he loves you, and you wanted it, then there is nothing wrong with sleeping with him." Rory said.

"You really think so?" Paris asked.

"Yes," Rory said. "I do."

"Ok," Paris said with a small smile. Then she looked back at Rory's speech in front of her. She looked up for a second and said, "Thanks. I mean don't take this for a Hallmark, 'we are best friends and do each other's nails' moment." She quickly said.

"Got it," Rory said with a smile.

Lorelai silently moved away from the door where she had been listening to their conversation. She smiled to herself and whispered, "Yep, I got the good kid." She chuckled lightly and moved up the stairs to her room.

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That night, when Jess picked up Rory, they drove around town for a while. "So, Pairs had sex with Jaime," Rory said. She knew that Jess probably didn't care, but God she had to tell someone. She'd been thinking about it all evening. Paris lost her virginity before she did.

It wasn't like Paris wasn't pretty. If she relaxed a little she would be a real catch. But Paris had taken the plunge into the unknown faster than Rory did, and that was just weird. Was she more uptight than Paris?

"Really?" Jess said, quirking his eyebrow in surprise. "Well, it was bound to happen at some point. Maybe he removed the stick from her ass." He laughed.

"What is he, a miracle worker?" Rory laughed. Then she turned serious for a second. "Do you think I'm frigid?" she asked.

"No," Jess asked, confused. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, it's just that Paris has had sex now, and I feel like I'm the only virgin on the planet. It's not like I don't want to do it." She said.

"Rory, don't worry about what everyone else is doing." Jess said. "You're not frigid."

"Ok," she said, smiling.

"So, what's this I here about you being unsure of Harvard?" Jess asked.

"I haven't talked to my mom about this because she'd probably have a heart attack. But…" she started. "I don't know what I want to do. I'm not saying I don't want to go to Harvard. I probably will, but I mean, Yale starts to look better everyday."

"Well," Jess said, sighing in thought. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to her to go to Yale. At Yale he could see her every weekend. Hell, with the money he was saving from Wal-Mart he could probably get an apartment in New Haven. It would be a lot cheaper than Boston. But in the end, he knew, as he always had, that Rory's education was the most important thing to her, and therefore to him as well. "You have to do what you think is right." He finally said.

"Yeah, but what if I make the wrong decision, Jess?" She asked looking at him closely.

Jess chuckled at her. "You worry too much. Harvard, Yale, who cares? In the end you will get a great education at either place. There isn't a wrong decision, Rory."

Rory smiled and nodded to herself. He was right. They were both Ivy League schools. She could get a good job graduating from either one. "Thanks, Jess," she said, picking up his hand and taking it in hers. He gave it a squeeze as they pulled off the road and into a park. "Where are we?" Rory asked.

"Just outside of Hartford." Jess said with a smile. "I found this place about 3 weeks after moving here."

"Cool," Rory said. "So, there was one other thing I wanted to talk to you about," Rory said, as he lead her out of the car and to a small clearing in the park.

"What's that?" Jess asked, pulling her down on the ground next to him and attacking her neck.

"Stars Hollow Prom." Rory said, determined not to be distracted from her task.

"What about it?" Jess breathed, as he placed open mouth kisses on Rory's neck.

"I want to go." Rory said, pushing him back to look at her.

"Seriously?" Jess asked, trying not to laugh.

"Seriously, Jess." Rory said. "This is the last thing I get to do with Lane," she said. "And she's going to take Dave, and I think it could be fun." She tried to explain.

"Ok, ok," Jess said holding his hands up in surrender. "I'll take you to Prom. But you owe me." He said, leaning in and capturing her lips with his.

"I thought I was going to have to be way more convincing than that." Rory giggled. She pulled him close to her and reveled in the feeling of Jess's body pressed close to hers.

"Mmmm, that feels good." Rory moaned as Jess's hands moved up her shirt and to the bottom of her bra. "But we really can't stay too long. I've got school…" but her words were cut off as Jess began sucking her collar bone and began pinching her nipple.

"Just 10 minutes." Jess breathed against her skin. She nodded and he continued his assault on her body.

"Yeah…" Rory sighed, pushing her body against his hand. She pulled at the back of his shirt, trying to get it off. Jess pulled away just long enough for her to removed the offending garment and he ripped open her blouse at the same time. The feeling of her creamy skin against his was intoxicating.

"Touch me," Rory said, unable to control the things coming out of her mouth.

"God, you're so fucking hot," Jess moaned as he rubbed himself against her and wrapped his lips around her nipple.

"Mmm, you too…" she breathed, bucking against him. She needed to relieve the tension. His thigh moved between her legs and she humped him with all she had. "Oh god!" she moaned.

"Come for me," Jess growled, his sanity hanging by a shred. "Do it."

Rory was so turned on by his assault on her breasts, the friction of his leg against her, and the sexy way he moaned into her ear. Finally she exploded. "FUCK! JESS!" she gasped, holding onto him for dear life. "Oh god…" she moaned, coming down from her orgasmic high.

When she caught her breath she looked up at Jess. "Am I ever going to get to do that to you?' she asked.

Jess grinned at her. "I hope so," he said, "But we've got to get you back home. Rory just nodded and let him help her up and pull her shirt back on.

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Rory had to admit she was scared. After Paris's award winning breakdown in front of C-SPAN, Rory worried for the first time that she might not get into Harvard, or Yale, or Princeton either. Those were the only schools she applied to. If she didn't get in, it was going to be Connecticut State for her. Then all that work for nothing.

"Rory, don't you think you should look in th box before you plan your future at McDonald's." her mother said with a laugh as Rory chewed a hole in her lip.

Rory rolled her eyes, but smiled and opened the mailbox. "You do it, I can't." Rory said, closing her eyes.

Lorelai reached into the mailbox and pulled out the mail. As smile crossed her face as she said, "Rory, open your eyes." Rory did and looked at the packet her mother handed her from Harvard.

"It's a big one," Rory said, with some relief. Then her mother handed her two other packages.

"You might be the biggest virgin in the world," Her mother said with an ecstatic grin. She was happy on both counts.

"OH MY GOD!" Rory jumped up and down with excitement. Her mother hugged her and began jumping up and down with her. Now for the hard part. Which one was she going to choose.

TBC…


	4. No Prom for Jess

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who is reading and especially those reviewing! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Just started a new job and I've been a little busy, but I'm of until Thursday, so I should be able to get a few updates in by then! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4

The pro/con list was starting to make Rory nuts. So far, Yale was in the lead. Harvard was a pretty distant second, and it seemed the Princeton didn't have a prayer. She almost wanted Harvard to come out ahead for two main reasons. One, her mother would be happy. And two, she didn't want there to be any speculation that her decision for college reflected a desire to stay close to her boyfriend. She wasn't that girl.

Though, she had to admit, Yale being closer to Stars Hollow was not entirely bad. She would get to see Jess more, as well as her mother.

Yale would also make her grandparents happy, though that wouldn't be a deciding factor for her.

She sighed and returned to her homework. Just then her mother walked in and immediately went to her lists. She cringed thinking of her mother's reaction. "Yale." Her mother said, no disgust in her voice.

"Yeah, those are just the preliminary lists though," Rory said.

"Yale." Was all her mother said.

"I mean, Harvard could still make a come back." Rory tried to assure her.

Her mother smiled and said, "Yale. Honey, it's got double the pros of Harvard."

"Yeah," Rory said, tentatively, gauging her mother's reaction. "So, what do you think?" Rory asked.

"I'm the first one to hate any idea that my father thinks is a good one, but the list doesn't lie." Lorelai said. Truth be told, after she got over her stubborn pride, she hoped it would be Yale too. That way she could see Rory almost every weekend. It was selfish, but with as little time as she had been able to hang with Rory her senior year, she wanted to be close to her in college.

Rory breathed a sigh of relief and then smiled, "So, Yale." She said. "I'm going to YALE!" she screeched and jumped into her mother's arms. "I have o go call Lane." She said, running from her room to her phone.

"Ok, honey. I'll tell the grandparents tomorrow night." Lorelai said, smiling as she looked down at the lists in front of her. She just hoped that this didn't mean that Rory would stay close to Jess. He probably would cut town after graduation anyway, Lorelai figured. Then Rory would need her mother. She smiled at that and placed the lists back on Rory's desk.

(#$&328

Rory waited few days to tell Jess her final decision. She wanted to let the grandparents know first, and secretly she kinda wanted to watch him squirm. She could tell he was partial to Yale for obvious reasons.

"So, I've decided to go to Yale." She said, casually as they exited their favorite book store. She smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Yale, huh?" was all he said.

"I figure, I'll be closer to home that way," she said, trying to see if he was going to mention anything about the future.

"22.8 miles," Jess said with a smirk. Rory's face lit up.

"You looked it up?" she asked, surprised.

"I just pushed a few buttons," Jess said, starting to look embarrassed.

"You looked it up," Rory said contented.

"It was no big deal," Jess huffed.

"You looked it up." Rory sing-songed, pleased with herself.

"Shut up." Jess quipped pulling her closer to him and kissing the top of her head.

"So, anyway, Lane and the band have that gig tomorrow night." Rory said, "They want us to listen to them practice tonight." Rory said.

"Ok," Jess said, "I'll come over later."

"Bye," Rory said lifting her head to kiss him. When they parted he threw her a smile and made his way to the diner.

Rory was on cloud nine. Things couldn't be better. She was going to Yale. She was dating a guy who she was completely head over heels for. She was on her way to Valedictorian. She smiled all the way home.

$&#$6239$0

"Oh Jess," Rory said, pulling him closer to her after the band practiced. "Don't forget the Prom tickets," she said, hoping he hadn't changed his mind.

"Oh, right," he said.

"Unless you've changed your mind," Rory said, cautiously.

"I said I would go and I will. I'll get them tomorrow at school." He said, smiling before pulling her face toward his. That meant he actually had to go to school tomorrow, but since he hadn't been in, in over a week, it was probably for the best.

"MMmm," Rory smiled against him. "Ok, I'll meet you at the diner tomorrow after dinner with the grandparents. Then we can go to the party."

"Ok," Jess said, barely listening as he was wrapped up in kissing her again.

"Mmm, Jess, I have to study." She giggled as he nibbled at her neck.

"Fine," he sighed, smiling at her. "I have to go to work anyway." He said.

"Wow, it's late," Rory said looking at her watch.

"Yeah, someone called in, I'm just covering." Jess said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Ok, well make sure you get enough sleep for school tomorrow," Rory said.

"Ok mom," Jess laughed before kissing her once more and leaving. If she only knew. It hurt to lie to her, but school was not for him. He wasn't on the same path she was. He couldn't just stand, sit, and roll over on command. He was smarter than every single person at Stars Hollow High. He didn't need to re-read Huck Finn to know he could pass with flying colors if he just bothered to go.

But knowing that school was not his thing, he took more work. He had to save money. That way, when he graduated, he'd have enough saved to do what he wanted as he started writing. But Rory wouldn't understand that. Rory was on the path to the Ivy Leagues and that was just where he wanted her. She was cut out for that. He wasn't. But he couldn't disappoint her, so he lied. And she seemed to believe it. Or she wanted to believe it so much that it became a reality for her.

Either way, Jess was going to take her to the prom, they were going to graduate, and then he would hopefully be able to move to New Haven. It wasn't totally for her. Sure, she would be there, and he wanted to be where she was, but more than that, it would be away from New York and Stars Hollow. Two places he knew he didn't want to live in again.

In New Haven he could start over. He and Rory could build a stronger relationship without the whole town breathing down their back. Dean would be out of the picture. Her mother wouldn't be up her ass all the time. Luke wouldn't be walking in on them every 10 minutes. He could write. She could become a reporter. It could be perfect.

He didn't know how he had gotten into this whole relationship so deeply, but he wasn't going to question it. Nothing in his life made him happy like Rory. Well, maybe writing, but Rory was at least tangible.

However, the next day, all feelings of euphoria were dashed the minute the moronic principal of Stars Hollow High uttered six ugly words. "You're not going to graduate, Jess." He said, with a sigh.

"Wait. I can catch up!" Jess reasoned. He hadn't missed that much school, had he?

"It doesn't matter. You've missed more days than you are allowed. You aren't graduating." The principal said. Jess could tell he was not at all concerned that the kid in front of him was failing.

"I'm smarter than every other kid at this school." Jess blurted out, rage growing inside him.

"And modest too." The principle said with a roll of the eyes.

"Look, just let me go to my prom." Jess said. If he couldn't take Rory to the prom he didn't really know what he was going to do. Not graduating he would put off dealing with, but Prom was around the corner and Rory really wanted to go. He was already going to disappoint her. He should at least be able to give her that.

"You don't really strike me as the prom type anyway," the principal said, amused. Jess wanted to punch that smug look off his face.

"My girlfriend wants to go," he said, though he didn't feel he needed to explain himself.

"Well, that's too bad." The principal said.

"What about summer school. I could make it up this summer." Jess said, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that, not matter how smart he was, he was not going to graduate from high school. It was like a fucked up Lifetime Movie.

"You have to re-take the entire year." The principal said. "You'll have to come back and repeat 12th grade all over again."

Fuck that! Jess huffed and walked out of the office without another word. He slammed the door shut behind him and stormed out of the school. FUCK!

TBC…


	5. Party Pooper

A/N: Sorry it's been so so so so long. Hope you all enjoy the update and thank you so much for your patience with me!!

Chapter 5

Jess was in another one of his moods that night at the party. Lane's band was all set up and people were starting to arrive at the house, but Jess didn't look like he was in a partying mood. "What's the matter?" Rory asked as she leaned up against the couch next to him.

"Nothin'," Jess said, not looking up from his feet. Rory bit her lip and just looked at him.

"I thought you were excited about this party." She said.

Jess just sighed. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Let's just watch the band." He knew he was being kind of an asshole, but he really wasn't in the mood for this whole party thing anymore. Not only did he have to find a way to tell Rory that he couldn't take her to Prom, but also that he wasn't going to graduate. After everything, he was still going to end up a loser without a diploma.

Rory sighed and nodded. There was no use trying to argue with Jess when he was in one of his moods, and the sooner they could get through this night, the sooner he could get back to normal tomorrow.

Everyone, of her age, that she had ever met in Stars Hallow was at this party. Dean was there with his girlfriend. All the kids from Stars Hallow High that she despised were there. Wow, Jess's mood was starting to affect her too. She took a deep breath and shook the bad thoughts off. "What's wrong with you?" Jess asked, looking up at her.

"Nothing," She smiled back at him. "Wanna get a drink?" Lane's first set ended and they could hear themselves talk again.

"Yeah," Jess replied with little enthusiasm. "I'll go get them."

Rory sighed and nodded as she made her way over to the band. Lane's smile was nearly cracking her face in two. Rory giggled at her friend. "Hey rock star!" she cried over the noise of the room.

"Oh my God! We actually sounded okay? Did you hear us? We didn't suck! I can't believe it!" Lane almost squealed pulling Rory to her.

"You were better than okay!" Rory assured her, as she looked around for Jess. What was taking him so long.

She waited around and watched Lane make goo-goo eyes and Dave. In turn she watched Dave give Young Chui the death stare. They were adorable. When Kyle rejoined the group from the kitchen, Rory asked, "Have you seen Jess?"

"Ummm, I think he went upstairs." Kyle answered before heading back over to his guitar.

Rory bit her lip in concentration before making her way to the stairs.

&#

Jess couldn't be around all of those Stars Hallow assholes anymore. Not only were all the kids he hated at this party, but Dean was there too. No matter how many times Rory told him otherwise, he couldn't help but be jealous of that asshole.

It wasn't that he thought Dean was better than him, or that Rory still had feelings for him. It was more that Dean did and said all the right things, while he tended to fuck up everything he got his hands on. Like mother like son.

So, here he was in a dark room in some kids house hiding from his girlfriend.

He wasn't hiding for long, once the door opened and Rory was standing in the room with him. "Hey," Rory said, a little hesitantly.

"Hey," He replied, getting up from the chair in the room.

Rory shut the door behind her and walked over to him, taking his hands in here. "What are you doing up here, sad boy?" She smiled at him, hoping to pull him out of his funk.

"You're not mad at me are you?" She asked, when he didn't respond to her.

Jess smiled slightly and leaned into her, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Good answer," she breathed against his lips. He may have been in a bad mood, but at least he wasn't mad at her.

His kiss became more intense, trying to push all the thoughts of graduation and Prom out of his head at the same time. She was ready for him. She'd told him so. And it wasn't like he knew what would happen after she graduated and left him for Yale and bigger things.

Rory moaned as Jess backed her up against the bed. She sat down next to him, never taking her lips off his. Things were getting hot and heavy and she was a bit surprised when he pushed her onto her back on the bed. But when his hands began to work at her belt buckle, she pushed him off of her.

"What are you doing?" She asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"What do you mean?" Jess sighed, moving away from her. What was the problem? They were ready. What the hell was she waiting for?

"You didn't think we were going to do this here? Like this!?" Rory bit out, pushing herself off the bed, turning around to face him.

"Hey, I didn't ask you to come up here." Jess barked at her.

Rory's eyes filled with tears as she backed away from him. Jess had never talked to her like that before. He'd gotten frustrated. He'd pulled the silent treatment. But he'd never yelled at her like that.

"What did I do that was so wrong?" She cried before bursting out of the room.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she ran down the stairs right into Dean and his girlfriend. "Hey, are you okay?" Dean asked, taking her by the arms.

"Yes…No…I don't know," Rory sobbed. She didn't know what was going on. She'd thought Jess was the one for her, then he turned on her upstairs. It was weird and she hadn't had time to wrap her mind around it yet.

When Jess came down the stairs behind her, he couldn't help but scoff at the display in front of him; Dean swooping into Rory's rescue again. What a fucking boy scout. He didn't expect Dean's fist to come crashing into his face a second later.

That was all he needed. Dean's attack was just the provocation he needed to take all the aggression he had building up inside out on him. "What did you do to here?" Dean growled, pushing him into the coffee table. He didn't know how they'd made it all the way down stairs, but he returned the push with a punch of his own.

"Stop!" Rory cried trying to pull the two guys off of each other. The testosterone in the air was way too thick, and she didn't need Dean to come to her rescue. She just needed Jess to get his head out of his ass and explain himself.

When the fight made it out to the front lawn, Rory finally got a hold of Jess. She pulled and he broke away from Dean without that much struggle. "Fine!" Jess cried, lifting his hands in surrender.

He took one look at Rory, standing there crying, and shook his head before running far away from the scene. He'd hurt Rory enough for one night, and he felt like shit. He didn't need to stick around to feel worse.

Rory looked at Dean, then at a drunk Lane puking in the bushes and decided that she had seen enough for one night. She sniffled as she looked into the direction Jess had just run off to. She wiped her nose and walked the other direction to her house, confused and sad.

#(&)(#&

"Where have you been?" Luke asked, as Jess walked in the door.

"Out," he barked, going over to his bed, pulling out the book on The Clash that Rory had given him, and plopping down on his back.

"Oh, we are back to that again," Luke muttered. Jess had more mood swings than any woman he'd ever known.

Jess tried to pay attention to the book, but he couldn't help but think about what went down at the party. His future was officially put on the back burner while he thought about how much of an asshole he had been.

Rory deserved better than that, and he hadn't meant to 'attack' her that way. He just needed to have something concrete to hold onto to tell him that they belonged together. He thought if they took the final step of intimacy, it would create a bond between them that would overshadow his being a complete and utter disappointment.

He sighed and shut off the light. It wasn't like he could do anything about it now. Rory probably would even talk to him again. At least not for a while.

TBC…


	6. Hit The Bricks

A/N: I know there isn't a WHOLE lot of action in this chapter, and it reads a lot like the episode "Say Good Night, Gracie" but I needed this to move onto more action later…hope you enjoy

Chapter 6

Rory had stared at the phone for over an hour now. It had been three days and she hadn't heard a word from Jess. It wasn't her fault he flipped out. If anything he should be at her doorstep apologizing for the way he acted that night. Instead she was sitting on her couch watching the phone collect dust.

"Still no call?" her mom asked as she plopped down on the couch next to her.

"No," Rory sighed. She didn't even have the effort to pretend she wasn't waiting for his call.

"What the hell happened, babe?" Lorelai asked, cocking her head to the side to listen.

"I don't know…" she huffed. "One minute Jess is the best boyfriend in the world. The next minute he's an asshole. And he knew it wasn't the right time, but he still pushed. He's never pushed before. He always said, 'when you're ready, I'm ready," but then up in Kyle's parents room he was different. Now he is freezing me out. I just don't understand!"

"Whoa! Back up!" Lorelai said, throwing her hands up for affect. "What happened in Kyle's bedroom."

Rory rolled her eyes, knowing her mother would miss the whole point to focus on that. "Nothing happened." She said. "Jess wanted something to happen, but nothing happened. It was just weird."

"He tried to force you?!" Lorelai almost yelled.

"No!" Rory cried. "He didn't force me at all, nothing happened. It's just…I know there is something going on here. Jess is moody, but he's never snapped at me like that. It's not about the sex. There's something else, and I just want him to talk to me!"

"Well, it could be about the sex." Lorelai said. "You know, I know you like Jess, but sometimes a guy is what he is. There's not changing the fact, there's no depth there."

"Mom, seriously, this is not the time." She huffed, getting up. "I know you don't like Jess. I know you think Dean is the best boyfriend ever. I know that you couldn't be more happy than when I'm mad at Jess. But the thing is, Jess is deeper than you think he is. He's one of the smartest people I've ever known. He doesn't know how to deal with his emotions, true. He doesn't always do what he's "supposed to, sure. But I love him, and no matter what happened in Kyle's room, it doesn't change that!"

Lorelai knew she had two choices when it came to the Jess situation. She could either fight it, like she always had, and possibly drive her daughter and best friend away; or she could swallow her opinion of Jess, get over it, and help her daughter be happy again. Hell, if he had Luke's genes he couldn't be ALL bad.

"Okay," Lorelai finally said, "So, you know the phone works both ways," she smiled, making sure that Rory knew she was on her side.

"Yeah, but as much as I know something else has to be going on, I also know he's the one that has to come to me." Rory answered.

Lorelai got up and pulled Rory to her in a hug. "And as much as I love that Gilmore stubbornness, if you want him…sometimes you are going to have to be the one to give in first." She said.

Rory smiled up at her mother. "Thank you," she said. "I think I'm going to give it a few more days, though."

"Ok, whatever you think," Lorelai said.

Rory looked up at her mother. "Thank you for supporting me on this, mom. I think I love him." That was all she said before turning to go to her room where there were no phones to look at.

(&#)&

Jess sulked around the diner after closing, listening to Bowie and wallowing in self-pity. He knew he needed to talk to Rory. What he did to her in the bedroom had no excuse. If he could just explain to her what the wrong. If he could just tell her that he needed to hold onto something of her before she went off to Yale and left him behind, a bum on the street.

He heard the bell above the door chime as he had his back turned to the door. "We're closed!" he called, not even turning to see who it was. Probably Lorelai. She seemed to have a problem reading the hours sign in front of the diner.

"I know, I just…" A husky male voice said.

Jess turned around, confused to see the guy who wouldn't order anything earlier that day. "Coffee guy?"

"Luke didn't talk to you?" the man asked.

"About what? Look, we are closed, so…" Jess cut himself off, sensing the implication was enough.

"I'm your father, Jess. Jimmy, actually." The man said, looking at her shoes.

A million thoughts flew through Jess's head as he stared at the man in front of him. His Dad? He'd never met the man, and he had no reason to believe it was true other than the mention of Luke and the fact that he was a spitting image of the man in front of him.

"Want a cup of coffee?" Jess asked. It was the only think he could think of to say. In all the times he imagined meeting his father, he had millions of things to say, ask, talk about, but now his mind was drawing a blank.

"Sure," Jimmy said, awkwardly glancing up at him.

"It's old," Jess clarified as he poured a mug for each of them.

The two of them sat in complete awkward silence, not even looking at each other until they noticed they were mouthing the same words to "Suffragette City." That seemed to be the cue for Jimmy to leave because he grabbed his coat and headed to the door.

"I've got to go," he said, already half gone.

"Bye…" Jess called into the empty diner. He awkward confusion turned to anger quickly. There one only one person to take that anger out on, so he stomped upstairs and into the apartment.

"So, I hear you paid a visit to my father!" Jess yelled at Luke, sitting at the kitchen table, minding his own business.

"He came here?" Luke asked, already thinking of the many ways he was gonna kick Jimmy's ass when he found him.

"Yeah, so you weren't going to tell me?" Jess snapped.

"The man is worthless, I didn't want to get you distracted. You've got enough going on with school and work…" Luke tried to rationalize. The last think Jess needed was a loser like that around.

"There is not school to worry about…" Jess muttered.

"What was that?" Luke asked, hoping he hadn't heard what he thought he had.

"There is no school!" Jess shouted at him. "I'm not graduating? Happy?"

Luke took a second to digest what Jess was saying, and pushing his anger aside he said, "Okay, this is what we are going to do. You are going to stay here one more year and you are going to graduate."

"I'm not going back to school!" Jess shot back. There was no way he could deal with Stars Hallow High for one more second let alone a whole year. Besides, he wasn't going to college, what difference would it make if he just got his GED?

"Then you gotta go!" Luke said, as calmly as he could manage. It broke his heart to think that he had failed with Jess. The kid was so smart and he couldn't even get him to graduate high school. Now what was his live going to be? But he couldn't change the kid, so he certainly wasn't going to give him a free ride.

Jess watched as Luke left the room, still trying to pick his jaw up off the floor. He'd be lying if he said he didn't understand why Luke was doing what he was doing. He and Luke had a deal, and he had every right to kick him out, but that left a very big question for Jess. What was he going to do now?

TBC…


	7. Author's Note

Hey guys! It is very possible that i could be updating this story soon! I know, you hate me! I'm terrible. But with graduating from college, meeting the love of my life, and getting married, i've been a busy girl! I haven't started working on this yet, but i'm definitely going to try to update within a month.

I hope you guys are still with me!

Thanks,

Krystle


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